Facing adversity

Is there any person on this earth who has not faced adversity? Life can be good, but adversities are also part of life. How does one face them with equanimity? It is difficult if the extent of adversity is very high. But one has to live through adversities and come back in life to succeed again. A sudden accident can make one lose limbs. A man who makes his living with his hands, will surely feel very bad and devastated if he loses his working hand. How about the effect of the announcement by the doctor that your child has cancer? Can parents take this news calmly? They will most probably faint when they hear it first. Some adversities are such that they shatter lives forever. But strong will and faith can help one face and conquer many adversities.

Who has not heard of Helen Keller? Her blindness and deafness could not shatter her indomitable spirit. There are many instances of such people. I had corresponded with families of cancer stricken children. The pain that I saw was enough to shake the bravest heart. I remember a small kid girl, who developed second degree burns as a reaction to her Chemotherapy. Her mother had a guest book and the notes on that site could make anyone weep. The pain that the child was undergoing was tremendous. But the photographs of a capped child smiling and laughing in the laps of her father were heart warming. Somewhere the spirit was alive in the family to fight it out cheerfully.

I also remember my conversations with a blind man of 70 years of age. He was secretary of one of the blind help groups. For sometime, during my talk, I realized that something strange was happening. Then suddenly it stuck me that this gentleman was using words such as Oh, I see, etc. without giving a pause. I was amazed with this talk. I knew that he had been a blind man for more than 40 years. I somehow gathered strength and asked him about usage of such words. He told me casually that there was nothing great about that. He could read and write and even type as well as any normal person. Though he had Braille. And he could see the faces with his touch. He had no regrets about his blindness. He had taken it as a fact of life and there was no feeling of having been dealt bad cards by the fate. Such people make us feel that adversities come to strengthen us. They test us. It is surely very tough to overcome them, but a strong will and faith in oneself and one's God can give enough strength to overcome them.

Let us look at the life as a moving vehicle. As we move, we pass many scenes. Some good and some dirty. But we sit though the journey peacefully and reach our destination. We mostly remain unmoved because - we are not directly pained by the scenes outside and our focus is more on reaching the destination. In any adversity, at least the second part can be applied. Come what may, our object should be to create a good life and live as an example for others. That should be our destination and that should be our motivation.

Consciously choosing a positive attitude

Do you consciously choose your attitude each day? If you're like most people, probably not. Most of us tend to let our circumstances choose our attitude for us. We're in a good mood as long as we get up on time, the kids cooperate and get to school on time, the car starts without a problem, we don't encounter any traffic jams on the way to work, the boss doesn't yell, our workload is manageable, etc. This system can work fine as long as everything runs smoothly in our lives.

But that's not always the case, is it? Situations don't always adhere to our expectations. Accidents happen. Delays happen. Spouses and bosses can be difficult to please. Vehicles break down. Kids may resist our efforts to keep the schedule running smoothly. What happens to our attitude then? If we don't make the effort to consciously choose a positive attitude, we run the risk of developing a negative one at random.

How would our lives change if we consciously chose a positive attitude each day? For starters, we'd feel much happier about our lives. We'd feel more motivated about pursuing our dreams because we'd believe in the possibilities for making them a reality. We'd be able to enjoy the time spent with our friends and families more, because we'd want to share our joy with others. We'd feel strong and empowered in our ability to do anything we set our minds to. We'd be able to overcome challenges with ease because we'd have a strong belief in our own skills and abilities. We'd be able to love deeply and completely without fear of rejection or betrayal. We would pause to enjoy the smaller, more precious moments in life, without feeling pressured to do more, be more, or prove our worthiness.

Wow, it sounds awesome, doesn't it? Is it really possible to feel that way all the time? Yes, but probably not in the way you're imagining it. Just because we choose a positive attitude doesn't mean that our lives will transform into smoothly-flowing works of art and stay that way forever. Choosing a positive attitude is a process. We don't just choose it once and expect everything to be perfect from that moment on. We will still experience setbacks, delays, accidents, frustrations, arguments, fatigue, and fear. The secret is how we choose to react to these experiences. Do we want to let them ruin our day, or do we choose to pick ourselves up and look hopefully to the future again? We do have the power to choose.

You may be asking what the point of a positive attitude is. If we'll still experience negative circumstances, why bother with choosing a positive attitude? Ah, that's the true beauty of the creative process. What we choose to focus on the most, we create in our lives.

By choosing a positive attitude each day, we are actually attracting more positive experiences, and reducing the likelihood of negative experiences. You may have noticed that each experience often determines the quality of the next experience, causing a chain reaction in our lives. If one little thing goes wrong, it can throw off our plans for the rest of the day. In this context, it's easy to see how a positive attitude would be powerful. Rather than allowing one little thing to ruin our day, we would be able to shrug it off and continue on without a hitch.

Over time, this resiliency begins to strengthen and empower us, which will show through in our demeanor. We begin attracting people and experiences that more closely match our attitude, and our lives eventually transform into more positive, fulfilling expressions of joy.

And it all begins with a little thing called attitude! Again, this is a process, so go easy on yourself if you're trying to adopt a more positive attitude. Simply focus on developing a stronger awareness of your attitude moment to moment in your daily experiences, and begin choosing a more positive one more often. It takes time to realize the full benefits of this type of mindset, but it is time well-spent.

Before you know it, you'll be one of those people you used to admire for their tenacity and strength, and your life will transform in amazing ways.